CHAPTER ONE:
Headache. Instantly she knew she was in for a big one this time. Reluctantly she slowly opened her eyes, fearing that would spur the pain into action.
Something was wrong. Not her room. She blinked in the hope this was a bad dream, or perhaps a side effect of the headache.
Shit. Still not her room.
Shit, shit shit. Her mind just blanked at the used condom sickening her view on the brown carpet. Frozen she glanced at the body she now felt next to hers under the duvet. Unknown, a stranger’s.
As fast as she could she slid out of the bed, grabbed her clothes from the floor, stumbled out of the room, dressed in a frenzy, tumbled down the stairs and rushed out on the street.
Only then could she manage to breathe. Pant was more accurate. She still couldn’t think straight though. Fazed out, she found a bench in a little park and collapsed on it, trying to calm her breathing, trying to calm down altogether.
A nearby church rang seven. The sky was radiant, oblivious to her shock, promising that this would be a beautiful day. The streets were still void of people, apart from a couple of garbage men rinsing the pavement with the toiletry van. The familiar sound reached her mind and strangely enough this soothed her a bit.
She was able to realize that she was shivering, standing in her little party frock alone, with only one sock in her boots. The other one and her jacket were still lying on that brown carpet.
Well let… Christ she didn’t even remember his name! ... Let “Him” have them, that’s the least of my worries right now.
How did she come to this? She wasn’t even that drunk last night, she thought pulling her knees against her, searching her mind to put together the pieces of the evening…
They had partied with friends, a fun evening in a bar, and she had been great, really.
Well until she had seen Thomas she recalled.
She had come nose to nose with him in the bar and that silly demon of hers had spoken again: “let him see what he’s missing, let him regret it”
Ouch! you silly SILLY girl! She winced at the memory, Thomas is gone, G-O-N-E and you know it!
So she had set herself on showing the world she was beautiful and great and charming that she didn’t care whether Thomas was or wasn’t with her… She had twirled around boys found a charming elegant one (at least she still had good taste in her downright stupidity) danced with him, laughed with him and ended up kissing him. The stinging thought of Thomas had eased up a bit.
But still, why didn’t she leave it there, at a casual snog? Why?
Then she remembered. The disdain on Thomas’s face, how he looked at her both despising and angry. And she had wanted to make this real, a bit more than a casual thing. She had gone home with the charming man. Of course in the morning light it was plain wrong but it had made sense at the time. John (THAT was his name! an Australian guy or something) had been the perfect gateway to show Thomas he was missing out on big.
Shit, I really am messed up aren’t I?
The garbage men passed her, glancing at her perplexed. What was a charming girl doing in the cold morning? Why did she look so haggard?
